Movie Review---Van Hell-Shit!

I like monster movies, I like comic book hero movies, I like movies that have a beastly protagonist fighting evil, when everyone things that he/she is actually evil.

The only thing Evil or scary about Van Helsing is that they charge $13.95, to see this crud. What the fuck Hugh Jackman? Didn't you play a guy with super-human power fighting bad monsters for the good of the world in a previous film...X-men2 and one before that X-men? Why did you make this steaming turd?

Perhaps it was because your co-star the lovely Kate Beckinsale decided to be in a film where a Vampire fights a Werewolf at the end? Wasn't that the same thing that happened in her film Underworld.

This film has every single cliche you can jam into a psuedo-horror film,! including my favourite: Frankenstien quoting the biblical "though I walk through the Valley..." speech as he is about to be murdered.

But the fly that tops the piece of shit that is this film, is the over use of Computer animation as we see the werewolf fight the vampire or giant rancid bat with pimples as the computer animation seems to have designed him or it.

I thought The Punisher was bad, -It still is, but this one sucks more

I thought Hell Boy was stupid and over animated -This film makes it seem like fucken Shakespeare compared to Van Helsing.

This movie is Pure Shit, don't waste you money!