Under My Tuscan Balls

OK I finished my first tour of Chianti region of Tuscany.
I wasnt able to go to Cortona with the rest of the crew here to watch the game (Italy vs. USA) partly because I did do a lot of work here, and partly because there was no room in the vehicle by the time I asked, which is a) shame and b) more than shame. So I say Shit on Cortona and shit on Frances Mayes.
I have drunk so great Chianti Classico's who knew they would be so good. This morning I set my alarm at 4:45 AM for an appointment only to realize when I got to the hotel that I was one hour early, I fucked up on the time, so I went back to bed again got up at the right time, went back to bed and my fucken alarm rang an hour earliar then it had to, as in an exhausted state I musn't of been able to figure out what the fuck I was doing (wow you turn the 30 corner and you realize you become old and decript), I had a weird dream that I one eyed monkey was hanging on to my arm, man it was very scary I was shaking in my bed. Fucken cycloptic space monkeys are anything but charming when you haven't had a good nights rest. I can't wait to hit the bed tonight. Supposedly my room was haunted by a coistered nun the other night when stayed at this Fancy hotel formerly a monastary. I biked 30 some odd kms yesterday and all i can say is Tuscany is not easy biking. So German woman on a motorcycle was down on the rode as I was climbing the hill. It looked very serious and made my riding much more controlled and serious too. Holy shit I tried to scare this giant spider with a highlighter to get it away from me and it ran towards me, now I have no clue where it is. My swollen eye is getting better which is nice considering I had dinner in this very fancy resteraunt the other night and my eyes were pussing up in front of people, the whites of my eyes were all red I looked like I was an extra in some zombie film. After some late night grappa I told some people who probably didn't need to know "The Pilot" episode I had when I got banned from The Pilot (in Yorkville), shit on the Pilot too! Well That brings my night to an end as I can barely keep my eyes open and there is a hostel Daddy long leggs out to get me.