Sneeze and Sniffle

OK so on my flight to London was awesome on British Airways, if I could fly with them exclusively it would be fucken unreal. There were 10 films I could choose from to watch and I chose this shitty film starring Samuel Jackson, Edie Falco, and Julianne Moore (who never flushes her toliet). Then fell asleep only to awake becauce the woman seated next to me kept sneezing and sniffling the entire time, and I was trying everything not to get to close to her. Hopped on another plane to Rome then a train to Arezzo and 14 hours later I was at home base. Thankfully, I don't think I got a cold from the snatch next to me, but my allergies are absolutely crazy here. Went on my first bike ride today in Tuscany. It was brutal, the hills here are a kick in the nut-sack and yes I did slather them up with Ass-and-Ball-cream. I had to stop at a gas station to get my breath and drink water because I thought I was going to puke. I rested for about 10 min, then the ancient woman who pumps the gas (yes she pumps the gas) told me I could drink the water from the hose near the gas pump as it comes from her well and is perfectly potable. I hate to say this but the well must be as old as the lady's snatch because the water (which like an asshole I filed my bottle up with) tasted like dirty socks mixed with old snatch.