France and Italy

OK so there are some things France does well....Bread in France is great, suprizingly not so great in Italy. France has no fucken clue how to make coffee...unless dishwater is what you are suppose to use to make coffee...and I am so accustome to having coffee in the morning from my travels in Italy, that not being a morning person I order it and it is like a cold slap in the face. Food in France is douced with so much sauce it hurts my tummy. And I never thought I'd say this but you can't get good olive oil in this country. Here is another funny thing, my French is good enough to piss people off. Although my quest for a pink highlighter proved very interesting in my use of French but I digress... This evening we did a skit in front of everyone where I played a devil with a huge cock in cycling shorts. For those of you who know my style I was rather tame...for everyone here I was on the edge of good taste, but everyone Enjoyed it. My best line was "When in Beaune, bone it up." However, when I said that "those who eat all the deliciously ripe figs while riding and then spray shit all over the hiway" was met with a lot of stunned faces. I still think it is a hilarious image...people riding their bikes and spraying the highway with liquid shit...speaking of which I better get a good nights sleep or I might mistakingly order some for breakfast, 'cept here they call it cafè.